Daniel Knox
Fake trailers are absolutely amazing! Just the mention of “fake trailers” instantly transports me to the world of fake-Oscar-bait fake-trailer Satan’s Alley, a captivating story about monks in love. But here’s the thing – Satan’s Alley is not a real movie, while Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving is the real deal.
This incredible tale actually began its journey as a pretend-trailer before Grindhouse hit the screens 15 years ago. And now, it has evolved into a full-fledged feature film. The whole point of this movie seems to be centered around a murderer who carries out his gruesome acts using cooking implements. And guess what? He even uses those little corncob pokers you hold ears of corn with – now that’s an image you won’t forget!
Now, if Patrick Dempsey isn’t the pilgrim-hat-wearing murderer, then why is he even here? It appears that Dempsey portrays an amiable yet clearly untalented cop who allows numerous people to be carved up (pun intended) in Plymouth, Massachusetts. The murders seem to be connected to a previous Black Friday riot. Additionally, the killer seems to have his sights set on a group of wholesome teens who are likely to meet very unwholesome fates. The trailer promises, “No leftovers.”
Joining Dempsey in this thrilling film are Addison Rae, Milo Manheim, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Nell Verlaque, Rick Hoffman, and… wait for it… Gina Gershon? Yeah, that’s right!
Directing this masterpiece is none other than Eli Roth himself, who co-wrote the script with Jeff Rendell. It’s a reunion for the fake-trailer makers, and the stage is set for November 17th. Don’t forget to bring your napkin!
This post was written during the 2023 SAG-AFTRA strike. Without the hard work and dedication of the striking actors, this film wouldn’t exist.
